bell_bell

byebye blogger.

2008-10-22T21:45:00.004+08:00

it's my 450th post and i cannot believe that i am actually switching to livejournal. i'm still trying to make myself like livejournal. yeah, tryinggg. hahaah.

http://belltells.livejournal.com

well, it'll be locked most of the time i think. i ain't trying to hide from anyone so don't worry! haha! :] in the meantime, i'll leave this blog here for me to update myself on the links.

all in your mind

2008-10-21T20:56:00.006+08:00

you could never imagine how disturbed and how afraid i am now.. i've got totally no idea how am i going to sleep tonight.

on a side note, today was not a happy day. i hope i would not be feeling the same way tomorrow. yes, upset is the word to describe me now. bye, i'm going to bed early tonight.

but now i am left with a spark.

OFS

2008-10-18T10:08:00.003+08:00

ytd's match with overseas family school was rough. by the first half, my upper lip was bleeding and my hand were full of scratches. most of them were japanese and they don't cut their nails for dunno what reason. my dad weren't even caring enough! he said i chose it and i cannot complain..

i dreamt of something very scary today.. that's why i can come here and blog early in the morning! it was gross. i dreamt of murder, explosions, glass shattering, stabbing, police... wah, i didn't expect that i can be that creative enough to think of something like that! but crap, it was really a terrifying experience.

well well, today is a lonely, lonely saturday. one more day to go. nonetheless, i can attend a wedding dinner tmr night. WEE. :))

i wish I could let you know
how much you touch my life

lunch @ lot1 :)

2008-10-16T18:58:00.006+08:00

hees. i think this skin describes me most. agree ah! hurhur. :) i had a hard time trying to stay focus throughout the gp lesson. i kept dozing off like no one's business! but u know, mrs chua is scary and i am afriad that she would chase me out of the class if she finds out that i've been sleeping in her class.. whew.

released at 12.30 today since there's no chemistry tut. =D had lunch with ds, kenny, wx, jp, nette, doris, belin and xh. damn funny bunch of classmates. hahaa. the whole table was full of laughters. was talking to junpei about her name and mine. i was saying that next time we got to be really careful if we were to choose names for our kids. haha. cos one slight twist in the name would make a lot of difference in the person's height. ( mine is pei-jun while hers was jun-pei). hahah.. and we laughed hysterically throughout. junpei's expression was damn funny! and i don't know why the hell we landed on the topic of ghosts. oh my god, it's really damn scary and i am wondering hw am i going to stay alone in my room tonight..

i'm going to spend my weekends alone. boo. :(

get over and done with.

2008-10-15T21:19:00.004+08:00

urgh. i lost the bet that i made with judy lim today. zzz. i thought the AIS wasn't as strong. really. i wasn't really gasping for air throughout the whole game. whatever. big disappointment.

got a call from someone again. it was hard trying to act normal when you know for the fact that everything has changed. i still act out as normal as i could. i wasn't being fair to anyone..

uh. my life is in a mess. secrets, secrets and more secrets.

Just hold me now
And try to understand that

2008-10-14T21:27:00.006+08:00

watched "house bunny" tgt with oliver last saturday. hahaha! it was really a hilarious and heartfelt tale of female empowerment. except for some dirty parts that obviously i couldn't understand cos everyone was laughing while i was there quiet. so u know something was wrong laaa (i'm too pure!). after which wnt changi for popeye chicken! OMG. o.O it was really mouth watering. hahaha. probably because my stomach was GROWLING (yes judy, i got it right this time!) and everything just tasted delicious at that point of time! :)

i didn't get the chance to watch the slingers match. my mum woke me up really early on sunday morning to go to melacca. i was really angry la. the reason wasn't because i don't wanna go but the trip to and fro is going to be very long! imagine having to sit inside the car for 3 hours from sg to melacca. zzz. on top of that, i wasn't going to stay overnight there! otherwise i'll be the first to volunteer! i love hotels okay!

luckily the trip turned out fine. my mum gave in to whatever i wanna eat and where i wanna go! HAHA. after which she went to this place called "jonker walk" where theres full of heritage stuffs and some very traditional shops. i was perspiring like shit and i think u all will understand the feeling right. especially when you haven't bathe in the morning. yuck.

shall post the pictures up once i get the camera from my dad.

the match ytd was so tense la. oliver's team nearly won! they just lost by one more ball! iris and me were so anxious while watching the match. weird ah, we weren't even playing but we were so nervous that we just can't rest our butts on the bench! the score was fluctuating and we kept walking around to check on the scores. hahahaha. we were behaving like some cartoons laaa.

I wish this could last forever

2008-10-11T08:31:00.004+08:00

on my way to understand different kinds of people.

if i were to say injustice, it wasn't entirely it. and if i were to say that people don't understand, it wasn't entirely that too. i never felt so angry this year except if you were to count in those quarrels with my parents.

i
am
damn
fucking
angry.

i'm full of words yet i'm feeling so bottled up. i'm so going to lash it out to any unfortunate people.

2008-10-09T21:33:00.004+08:00

i know i've been missing for quite sometime. hahahah. the reason is simple: my youngest sister was having her PSLE a few days ago and i've got no choice but to abide by my mum's long list of rules (no computers, teach whatever that she dunno, no tv, get home asap to be beside her just in case she dunno some questions... ) -.-

isibl matches were super face throwing and it's just nonsense. i cant adapt to their air conditioned basketball court! it's really very uncomfortable playing inside the air conditioned indoor court. i cannot even breathe normally without having those wheezing sound coming out from my wind pipe! i've got the idiotic idea inside by mind while playing but i don't dare to voice it out. 5 other matches to go and i've kinda given up on this whole thing. i know i shouldn't be thinking this way especially at this point of time but the fact is that everyone else would have thought that way too. hahaha. it wasn't anyone's fault though. was really appreciative that jiajun, hsiufen, judy and oliver came. hahah! though the score was ridiculous...

this whole week wasn't particularly exciting i would say. our timetable is just a big piece of shit with freaking long hours of breaks in between. the thing was that we were not allowed to go home and were asked to attend those retainee programmes. yawns.

I'll make it better than it ever was.

2008-10-04T21:08:00.012+08:00

i'm now aching all over! i was practically limping the whole day today. partly was because of the IHG! we played the whole day okay.. esp when i haven't been exercising for a very, very long time. zzz. luckily our efforts didn't go down the drain! hahha. we won. judy shouldn't have worry so much the night before! thnks to our team mates and oliver. everyone did great! :))

isibl on tuesday. hahahah. against UWC. can just imagine for the worst uhhh. i might need a mask or maybe a hole. :(

romeo take me somewhere we can be alone
i’ll be waiting all theres left to do is run
you’ll be the prince and i’ll be the princess
its a love story baby just say yes

2008-10-01T22:32:00.018+08:00

i fell down again. ARGH. this time i slipped and hit my head, shoulder and my butt. it left a big red scratch behind my back okayy. this one is like a hundred times more painful than the one that i fell into the rat hole lah! my mum's facial expression was really very funny. she knocked on the toilet door and asked what happened and after she heard me groaning in pain, she laughed and laughed. she's trying her luck every morning to pour the iodine solution on me. well, she should try harder.. :P

me, carol and judy baked our cookies!

don't be blinded by the pictures.. we might look pro in all these baking procedures but you noe... it's all an act. HAA. we messed up judy's place with flour. BUT she was glad that we know how to clean up after ourselves. :))

look pro huh!

you know.. we tend to side-track...

look at carol: THE FLOUR PROMOTER

the hungry ghosts.

i'm always the one who is sneaking the food.. carol scolded me. :(

ROARRRRR.

THIS PICTURE IS SO FUNNY. look at judy.

BUT OVERALL... IT WAS A SUCCESS!!! YAY!

i fed my guinea pig with the DELICIOUS cookies. HAHHAHA. the comment was positive okay! hehes.

judy mentioned about "orgasm". HAHA. ask her. i don't wish to dirty my blog. HAHA.

2008-09-29T23:33:00.006+08:00

done with promos! this time, promos really ended.. somehow or rather, i'm not very used to it. i'm really praying very hard that things would go the way i am expecting it to be. if not everyone will see me die a thousand times.. i've even planned for the worst scenerio. haha..

tmr is my baking day with judy and carol! hope i'm nt late again!! if nt i'll be blamed.. hahaha. looks like its going to be hard to remove my "tardy queen" image..

i'm reflecting upon myself. lots of reflection to do. do i make people feel miserable.. if only i'm a lil smarter and nt as slow.. i'm trying hard nt to make myself look as if i am self pitying. :( i felt as if i need to please so many pple at a time. how can i do that whn there's only one annabel here? the kind of helplessness is there hunting me again..

i just need to regain my mood back..

i don't understand..
just how much courage do i possess.

2008-09-28T14:04:00.004+08:00

holy shit. i thought that at this this weekend, i could slack a while or even sleep a lil more. but i end up in misery... i was being ordered by my mum that i should stay at home and teach my youngest sister cos her PSLE is just round the corner. oh my. the biggest headache is that i dunno what she don't know! i cannot even use the com or listen to music as all these were deemed under her "distractions" list. feel for me someone!! someone please save meeee. uhh.

OH YAH. i wonder what kind of luck i'm currently under. i fell into a rat hole ytd and my ankle bleed okayyy.. -.- DON'T LAUGH. i nv like rats.

on a sidenote, i'm elated. my mum had agreed that i can continue my lifesaving swimming course in March! YAY. means i can become a lifeguard soonnn. :) contented.

2008-09-27T00:43:00.009+08:00

wnt for an outing today with oliver. hahaha! was on the expedition to find out about the hort park. bt halfway we kinda regretted it. cos for one reason, it was super hot. though it rained in the morning and we all thought that it shouldn't be that bad. we were wrongg. oh and one thinggg! if you think that i'll be the one complaining abt the hot whether, thn you are wrong. haha. cos he was the noisy one too. :P

the route was freaking long and we didn't even managed to walk like half of it? its so humid that we decided to make a U turn not long after we set off. and the place is contaminated with ANTS and spider webs. i think carol will scream her lungs out if she ever stepped into this place. hahaha! we started off at harbour front and stopped at mount faber. HAHA. i also felt a lil hilarious. got lost while trying to find our way back. argh. i'm like a person with super no sense of direction can. nevertheless, tracking is still fun. hehes. next time i'll ask jiajun to come along with me. she's my expedition mate! nvm, she might nt wanna join me this time since she's going to DRIVEEEE in no time. hmph.

anw, after we managed to find our way back, we wnt b&j! finally got the chance to indulge into my favourite choc fudge flavoured one! YAY. uh. i shall put aside all the sinful thoughts about the icecream. i'll just slim another time thn. hahaha. oh, i got another bar of chocs. :))

so... lesson learned: i'll suggest that we go to some air conditioned places the next time i go out with him!

HAHA.

when you're cold and barely breathing..

2008-09-26T00:22:00.004+08:00

wasn't very much happy today. whatever. i shall not care about all these shit anymore. there's just so many things that i cannot change. i'll just let it happen before i decide on anything. i guess that's the right way to solve things whn it isn't going the way you wanna it to be right?

Like a river flows surely to the sea
Some things are meant to be

2008-09-24T21:21:00.008+08:00

~~~ hhooOOooRRrrAYyy!!! ~~~

i've been waiting for this BIG day from the start of this year. and finally.. my promos ended!! *claps* of cos i would want it to end happily right.. like at least my grades wouldn't be bad. but i've put in my utmost effort in studying already. judging by those sacrifices that i made (two wks i haven't bin to my ah gong hse, those consultations and late night studying-s..) , i hope my grades would show something.. at least some improvements and i'll be happy. :))

i don't hope much for econs though.. you reap what you sow. yes, that's the word! hahahas.. gp was a lil hard i think.. hope i wun get an "Umbrella" for it. zzz. i screwed econs up. bio paper was quite do-able. chemistry was quite okay too, just that those alcohols questions in paper 2 shld be wrong bah. cos, we were told that it wouldn't come out! oh well.. it did. hahaha. maths was sad. i dunno if i did correctly cos most of my answers were in fractions. the more i do, the lower self confidence i have, the more careless mistakes i make. might be cos i am too reliant on answers already. damn shit.

but i'll be damn disappointed in myself if i don't get at least a grade that i think i should be deserving? disappointment is the last word that i would want to hear from anyone. now i can only pray that everything will turn out fine..

which means after the last paper (bio mcq) on monday, i can play without any restrictions! miraculously, my mum even allowed me to talk on the phone for so long. hahaha. the feeling without having to hide while talking on the phone is sooo... shiooookkk. hahaha! now i'm looking forward to friday! :D

A little voice inside
It says you've got to be tough
You've got to take it in stride

2008-09-16T21:28:00.006+08:00

today was... HECTIC BUT kindda... funnn.

went for chem consultation today. 7am okayyy. was damn tired. really. i don't even go to school that early on normal days!! but am glad that i've asked what i am supposed to ask. after that was maths tuition. whoa, dozed off while i'm on bus with judy. she's another one. purposely take videos of me while i am sleeping. ZZZ. my pretty image is GONE. :(

after which, wnt to eat banmian. hahaha.. thn.. back to library to study.. HAIS.

awaiting my big bear hug

2008-09-14T18:56:00.002+08:00

guess what. i went to see the doctor only like.. friday? and i lost the whole bag of medicine. hahahaa. obviously it wasn't me! i am conscious enough to know where i put it. i think it was my sister who went to throw the whole bag away without any intention la. the auntie at the clinic was so surprised to see me there again today.

nothing much, just went celebrating my youngest sister's birthday just now.

HILARIOUS.

The road keeps on turning

2008-09-11T22:47:00.003+08:00

just went to see the doctor. the one that is downstairs. i called him the snail doctor. buay tahan. his movements are slow, the way he talk is slow and even he writes slowly too. and of cos.. i have to slowly wait for my turn too. =.= in the end, the plastic bag that i am holding on to, was full of pills and syrups. hahaha.

i am feeling downright horrible now. no no. in fact since this morning!! i almost cannot get off from my bed. felt like as if i cannot breathe properly. my insensitive mother still keep on shaking me and shouting at me!! grr. it was only after she heard my croaking voice that she realised i am sickk. hahahah. but ehhh! i have evidences that i am stressed out okay! the doctor said so. still, my parents laughed it off.

you know the temptation of signing out of school was very high today! ms toh shld be really proud of me cos i stayed just of the chem tutorial okay. :))

today i was at cck interchange and there's this indian guy standing beside me eating mcflurry. he wasn't really dark. he started talking to me and smiling at me. omg la. i was wondering did i know him? did he saw me before? weird! after which he asked me what is the taxi fare that he had to pay if he take taxi. wth? ask wrong person cannn. he asked me where do i live and what time is it. i was so scared that he would follow me that i smsed judy and oliver. at least they will know just in case i'm kidnapped by him. HAHA.

aiyahh. i'll just admit that i am the culprit who started the whole chain of illnesses lahh. hahaha. cos the reason is simple. everyone around me is sick now. judy, carol, oliver and even sherry. they all had the same symptoms!

everyone, I'M SO SORRY. =x

It's not always rainbows and butterflies
It's compromise that moves us along

2008-09-09T21:47:00.004+08:00

i received a freaking big big surpise today! all thanks to oliver and judy. 090908 what a date to remember right. i nearly, nearly, nearly.. cried. yesss, like what i said, NEARLY. lucky i din. i was taken to this shop and i was asked to choose the bracelet that i wanted. it was like.. a really really huge surprise. i didn't kinda expect that they both will actually ganged up to keep that secret from me. and of cos i din expect myself to be stuck in that kinda situation! esp judy lim! i thought she was the most innocent one and she should be siding me since she's of the same sex as me! apparently, i was so wronggg. hahaha. anyway, thnkss. i was really touched. and surprised. and shocked. :))

yeps. chem mock was horrible. stupid mistakes here and there. only to realise it after it ended.. but i think partly was cos i didn't really study. cos the moment i took the med ytd, i was almost sub-concious. damn. how i wish i don't have to take the promotional exams.

a moment I treasure
forever, forever and ever

2008-09-07T22:45:00.005+08:00

OOohhhh-myyy-gawwwwdd.

i am panicking for the promos already!! like left with that short lil 2 weeks? i've kinda started hating exams. now i cannot even rest in peace without constantly thinking of my undone work. i'll pray hard that i can pass this whole thingg.

the temptation of backing out
if everything else fails.

2008-09-05T21:26:00.008+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY DEAR CAROL!! :))

lonely maths lesson today! hahah.. cos i've got no one to talk to what. at least nothing to joke about. mr tan was funny today. hhahah.. i've collected all the questions that i dunno and i went to ask him. well, i dunno whether was it a good move or what. cos obviously i was being "suan" by him.

he laughed at my sillyness and of cos my stupid methods. grrr. worse, he started taking out the GC and pressing those foreign steps that i didn't even know for start that it existed before! (well you noe, we often thought that old pple are always a lil slower...) well, i was wronggg. -whtaeverrrr- nvm, i've long threw away my face already. hahahaha.. actually he's quite good. :))

i felt loved today! :)) thanks for the jacket. though you're freezing cold. oh btw, it looked good on me too. hahahahahah.

Can u my darling
Can u picture this?
I'm never alone
Cause you've always been there

2008-09-04T20:12:00.019+08:00

it's my cousin's wedding ytd! i've got loads of cousins. and this is only the 2nd cousin. i've been waiting for this day till grass has been growing all over me! finally i can wear something nice. wahahaha. :)

it was held at marina mandarin. unfortunately, the rain was pouring throughout the whole day. we didn't get drenched but we were a little bit late due to traffic jam. i was freezing inside the bus. zzz. my mum was laughing at me cos she thought that i shouldn't have wore so lil. ( Btw, her definition of little was something w/o sleeves or strap. -.- ) and i didn't waste my time ok! i brought my halogen derivatives to study!

and omg, there's live band throughout the whole dinner! that guy sang well! i kept asking my cousin what's was the song title. obviously i didn't get the answer that i want. she listens to only jap songs. oh well. haha. to put it in short, i enojoyed my time there and that it was simply... splendid.

peiwen - the only female cousin in my family. :)

三大美女. HAH. my pretty aunts. the left one is my gym buddy. and the right one is the one who used to bring me out and bought me clothes when i was young. thou she wasn't the only one. :)

plus two more. one is one of my "gan ma".

another younger cousin.

this one i need not say lah. my sister. angeline.

ME.

you know what? when i saw those pictures, there's just one thing that came to my mind. 大家都老了.. my mum said the same thing too. i've got so many cousins. i'm ranked the 13th and there's more younger ones. and now one by one they're starting their own family already. in the past we used to fight for computer games when we all gather at my ah gong house every saturday. the house wasn't exactly big. but everyone will still be present. fighting for whose turn next to play the game wasn't fun at all. cos i'll normally end up the last one as i am the youngest back then. yes, we always have this rule: to bully the younger ones. haha. but now whn i think of it, it all became happy memories. those memories that i yearned to have it one more time. my aunts used to bring me out shopping for my new year clothes, eat in restaurants and even go to parks for our normal jogging routine on sundays. now, it became almost impossible. cos everyone's occupied.

was that considered my childhood? i think it was.. although i am not the typical type of girls who loved those motionless barbie dolls. in fact, i don't fancy them at all. i don't have that big, wild imagination. i'm one who used to love those lil boys game. that explains.. hahaha.

I could spend my life in this sweet surrender
I could stay lost in this moment forever.

2008-08-31T20:40:00.008+08:00

"be yourself day" was a disaster!! everyone should know this by then. goodness gracious. i don't want this to happen either kay. but i just got tongue-tied the moment i saw so many people! the rehersal was still fine.. thats why i suggested that maybe we all should wear a mask. hahaha. whatever it is, it's over and i am glad. :)

nevertheless, i'm still glad that carol, judy and oliver still cheered me on. ღ love them to bits. ღ haha. though they still laughed at it la, which made me even more paiseh. not only them la. ms ng, mr lee and those teacher that i bumped into laughed too! grr. but i was rather surprised that oliver was there. thought he overslept or what. and he din confirm with me the night before that he was going to come. uh-uh. that's him. :))))

finally i got to meet up with jiajun, tgt with stanley, yangwei, xuliang and junlong. and o-m-g. stanley's definitely became plump-er. hahha. must be sp's food that made him wad he is today, and his uncontrollable diet. what i can say.. guys are guys. hahaha! yeps. we sat dwn at the coffeebean and talked for quite a while. like a few years we din see each other, everything seems to have changed. BUT BUT BUT... one thing i can defintely say that hasn't change is.. stan's dirty-minded-ness. yes. since sec one till now he's been talking dirty. zzzz. sometimes he might claim that it's normal or whatever it is.. but we all know for sure that he's just like that! hahaha!

the four musketeers: stan, junlong, yangwei. xuliang.
( it gt me so hard to get that parrot lover xuliang to OPEN HIS EYES BIG BIG.)

i am down with flu and sore throat again.. and now i am down here sipping the bitter tea. urgh, super disgusting.

before i forget, i got to thank ms chen for her white coat and ms ng for her stethoscope. :))

As long as its okay, I'll stay with you.

2008-08-29T01:02:00.003+08:00

felt accomplished for the things we did today. :)

oommgg. i can't help but to keep on think about tmr. no no. it's not tmr. its later.. i dislike facing the crowd and yet i'm gonna be the "doctor" in front of the school. i can sense some dizziness already... haha!

back to jwss tmr. :))

i don't wanna feel like some petty girls but i just cannot help it.
if ever i can control it right!!

2008-08-27T22:05:00.013+08:00

i've got something interesting to show you guys. hahaha. it'll sure make u laugh out loud or put a smile on ur face. we wnt to plaza sing to search for some ideas. and... we wnt into spotlight..

TA-DA!!

the bumble bee and the king. ahem. that bee dress suits carol!

HIAO. haha!

the mis-match pirates.

cllink - CLANGGG!!

uurghh.

hheeellpp!

HEHE. ms annabel the strong.

eh! watch what you're doing!

- close up - I SAY.. LISTEN TO ME!

i love this haiirr. :))

ms witch and her hip hop friend. haha!

yeps! thats the crazy us. notice why judy isn't inside? cos she was the photographer! hahaha! u can expect hw much noise we made while we were in spotlight. the things inside were cool luh. but i still liked my favourite shop - made with love.

i'm proud of what we 3 did today. i'm not saying about this shopping part. that sms was an sms that we've bin waiting all along. you were touched, so do we. :) we love you! :D

everyonen needs a guardian angel.

2008-08-26T20:57:00.002+08:00

i sent my hp for repair today. it was not exactly spoilt but yeah, there's some defects here and there. but dun worry my dear phone, i still love you. :) i can only get it back only on monday. zzz.

i'm a bit stressed out lately. my pimples outbreak is the answer to it kay! one after another. like never ending. maybe after all these exams and all, i might just turn into a disgusting girl with loads of juicy pimples. gross. haha! like i said, i dunno why my focus isn't bout passing. i can't wait to get out of all these. i can't wait for promos to come. i can't wait to end all these. i just can't wait. so mundane. it's killing me every single day. yeah, maybe i should shut up and stop all these whiningggg. i might have broke dwn long ago if nt for my friends and oliver.

now i know why my sis was so upset and so short tempered today. cos she got A2 for maths instead of A1. uh well. what can i say..

You never give up on me, and that's what keeps me going.

2008-08-24T09:58:00.003+08:00

for now, my new favourite indulgence. :))

at least,
now i can be sure.

2008-08-21T22:41:00.002+08:00

HAHA. i cannot imagine that my mum allowed me to sign out! unbelievable right? eh, i wasn't trying to act sick kay! but i was really sneezing so badly that i was sweating. and i cannot even hold the pen without a slight shaking! but a nap in the afternoon made me super refreshed now. :))

on the contrary, i felt terrible. more of frustrations i think. sorry if i am a bit more temperamental recently. i dunno what has got into me.

2008-08-20T16:56:00.001+08:00

you should see how speechless i was today when ms chen asked the class one by one what was our future ambition during CT lesson. i've been trying to avoid that question whenever possible but... it has been a failureeeee. hais. till now i am still wondering about aimlessly. is it that important to know one's amibition?

and O-M-G. my mum told me that my cousin's maths result rose by 30% cos of oliver's teaching. goodness. only one day and he made such a big difference! hahah. now i've got a problem. my family is starting to know him. zzz.

i haven't bin keeping in touch with some of my cloest friends lately.. i'll do the contacting after my exams kay! ESP jiajun and my baobei. :)

2008-08-17T21:49:00.002+08:00

i ate 4 pratas today! yums. i ain't slimming down at the moment. so don't be shocked if u see me balloon-ing up. haha.

i tried nt going to my grandma place todae and stayed up in the lib to finish both the maths and bio. i swear i really did something out kay.. bt somehw it's still left with tat few questions. this sucks.

when you can feel the stress level building up, you wouldn't wish to be in my shoes, you wouldn't be laughing all day. it's the tests, its the major exam coming up. most importantly, its the competition among people. it's tiring.

i'm imagining things again.

2008-08-15T00:02:00.002+08:00

i almost felt like i am going to drop dead any moment. i dunno why but i just felt so lethargic and so worn out. i found myself unable to open my eyes fully during the first period of econs lesson luh. it was until the bio lesson that i started to warm myself up. hahaha. i think it was cos of ms chen's voice. it was loud.

and my headache is killing me. probably i din sleep well last night. anyway, was glad that the chem test came out to be okay.. at least it wasn't as bad as i thought it would be. thou i was a lil bit brain freeze at that moment that i forgot to write down a few reagents. retarded.

i'm hoping for wkends to come soon. i can't wait any longer. i need the extra long hours of sleep. something which i think it is impossible for me during this weekend.

My foundations were made of clay.

2008-08-12T20:54:00.002+08:00

AAHUHHhh..

today is just one fine, amazing day. cos a while back then, i had always dreaded for mondays and tuesdays to come.. it's my most occupied days of the week! yet, i felt so relax. what i meant by "relax" was the feeling of not having to rush for homeworks that is suppose to be due today. hehes.

apparently, i did something unglamorous just not long ago. hello! i thought burping is just one example of a reflex action! aww. i din expect myself to... burp in class. =x i dunno if everyone heard it but from what i know, those sitting near me, including ms ng heard it lah. next time i'll make sure i'll hold it there to avert such paiseh situation!! even if it has to come out from any of the other "holes". haha! ok, gross.

anyway, i've just got a question: why do guys love to play computer games?!!

esp whn i cannot figure anything out of it after a while... cos i still cant play for nuts. zzz.

as long as we keep this moment shining in the dark

2008-08-10T19:52:00.002+08:00

i woke up at 12 plus today! OMGGGG. unbelievable right! and my mum ignored my countless calls after i woke up to find that the house was empty. she even switched off her phone! initially i thought she was so fed up waking me up that she decided to ignore me. whew. luckily it turned out that it was cos she was busy at the temple..

it's hard for me to really settle down and made up my mind to do finish my work this wkends. not whn my cousin asked me to teach him maths and chinese tmr. what a goon he is to lose his textbook. yes, at this point of time. i suggested that he come tonight since i'm not sleeping that early cos i wanted to watch the olympic bball. but... he's at his grandmother's house till 10pm. oh well. just my luck. i'm feeling super bad right now. cos i've got to cancel something due to this sudden change of plan. :(

byee. my parents are off to their ge-tai and i'm left alone to scavenge for my food. yums.

" Find something you enjoy doing. Do it. Over and over again. You will become good at it for two reasons: you like it, and you do it often. Soon, that will have value in itself. "

2008-08-09T21:23:00.004+08:00

watched "mummy" with judy and oliver on friday! our threesome date. haha! i was somewhat appalled by the movie. hahaha. u should see how judy used her shirt to cover most of her face. it was so funny! frighten still wana watch!! YAY. i got myself dark chocs again. thnks oliverrr. *grins* :))

today is like my "series of unfortunate events"....

first, i almost missed that bus stop that i am supposed to be alighting for my tuition. thn after that my slippers gave way right at the centre of the roadddd... just right after that, i knocked onto the sign board near the side of the road. URGH. and there's so many people around to watch this miserable kid lah. i've threw my face away! i cant believe that i'll be involved in all these shit! i tot i was careful all the way!!

saw youli todae. was too engrossed with my stuff inside the lift that i didn't notice someone entering the lift. when i looked up i was so shocked and happy!! it's been monthss since i saw him already. he dun dare to say hi to me for fear that he might be calling the wrong person. he said i've turn prettier!! well, i'm so over the moon~ :D Hello!??! nt cos he comment on that kay. even if my dad commented on that i'll be over the moon too! HAHA.

kept bumping into people whom i've nv saw for a long time. saw lewis too. i wasn't sure if he saw me walking. cos we both were walking towards each other for a short moment. i slowed dwn my steps whn i saw him. anw, i knew i was somehw going to see him for the fact that he just lived bside the sch. DUH. it's just that i'm still unsure hw will i react when we really see each other. ignore? say hi? run off? thousands of possibilities.

you must bring up lovely thoughts of me once in awhile....
like a fairy tale.

2008-08-07T22:44:00.006+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHERRY-THE-SCARY!!
.070808.

hope you enjoyed your day today!!

yay!! finally gp teacher forgave us! my eyes turned watery whn we're outside the staffroom apologizing to her. haha! not only me lor. i hate that sentimental side of me lah. keep making me so ps among so many people. what's mre important is that everything is back to normal again. :)

didn't had proper meals these few days. ytd was the worse cos i started to see things moving around me after the tuition with shuang an! i was so petrified lah! i wasn't on some diet or wad. bt i dunno why lehs. maybe cos we're spending more time away from the canteen and that's why we din eat much. partly cos of our laziness also. we got to go all the way to the canteen from the lib which was not very "near" you know. i'm going to get some proper meals next wk!

today had this house CIP thing where got to visit the CCK constituency to ask the people over there if they would like to donate their blood nxt saturday. the whole even took freaking long!! we got to search for the blocks and when we finally arrived, it was like.. 7 already? plus my stomach was growling non-stop. zzz. figured my way around that unfamiliar place. i'm not a road idiot after all! well, at least i dun get lost rightttt. hurhur!!

luckily wrk isn't piling up that fast right now. today we just got some whole lot of gp wrk and a maths revision set. oh man. i hate it. it's so time consuming luh. got to organise my weekends alrdy. discovered that i'm not utilizing my wkends. those family gatherings. but the problem is that i cannot dun go! expect me not to go to my paternal side for 1 mth plus till after promos, my dad will kill me for sure. aw.. what a decision to make. if i've got the wkends to use, i'll finish up my tutorials for sure and that i dun need to burn those midnight oil in order to make sure i finish those wk befre going to school.

anyway, yes, my eyes are closing now. i'm dozing off while blogging. tmr i've still got econs make up lecture!! and after which, it'd be movie time! :)

that was my final decision.
i'm determine this time round.

2008-08-05T21:41:00.006+08:00

last week and this wk wasn't considered a good wk.

there's something that i want to clarify to anyone who reads it:

" from david marshall all the way to suggesting an apology letter to the teacher,
someone please tell me, which of any of these were done by one whole class? or was it just the few pathetic souls writing and wondering if they should pass it to the teacher? wasn't it the idea of the class to write a letter to the teacher and yet how come i dun see the urgency to finish up the letter with at least some level of sincerity and give it to the teacher asap.. and i've got to ask doris for the letter. today is the first lesson of gp and i think we ought to pass the letter of apology to the teacher even way before she conducted the lesson isn't it? so now if we pass her the letter and she accepts it, what do you think she'll be thinking of our class? i know we all are busy. but busy till a point where we became some senseless kids?

let me make my point clear again. being a retainee with lots of breaks in between doesn't mean that we've got to wipe the buttocks of people, got to finish those work that people cannot finish. if that's true, does it mean that every lil thing that the class cannot finish or unable to do, we must clear it all? we can help to some certain extent, but isn't together with the help of the whole class, makes things even more efficient and easier? it doesn't make sense to say that we've got more breaks. afterall, we've got higher stakes this year, we're still a human. you feel tired and so do we. agree? "

I often feel like I'm two steps behind
Somebody must have moved that finish line
There are a thousand reasons
Why I should give up
But I'm stubborn in the things I believe

2008-08-03T09:33:00.004+08:00

off you go my HOLEY motorola! i finally changed my phone. it was... tant mieux. whew. actually any other phones will surely be better thn tat motorola.

was so annoyed with the class on fridae. not entirely everyone. its been a long time since i could feel my blood boiling. i din wanna shout at everybody. i still want to maintain that image. who doesnt right? it wouldn't be long for me to lose tat "angelic" image if this continues. i cannot stand all these nonsense. it's absurd.

i'm so sorry to ms chen. you knw i really do. i do know that time management counts inside this whole thing. but whats more important here is teamwork isn't it? why didn't anyone bother to ask? i do have my own stuffs to do and so do u guys. so does everyone else!! we have a fair share of work. does it mean that we are in charge and this means that we have to chase and chase after every single person? this isn't the class that anyone would want to be in. too self centred, too ignorant. and definitely, bullshitting doesn't help.

on the contrary, was it my fault?

The days before all fade to
black and white

2008-08-01T23:03:00.002+08:00

finally the day has come.

my last match. played a good game against the j2s today. i certainly felt the atmosphere came back once more. the two batches were a little different. that was my last match. we didn't win, but considering that our batch still has a lot of new comers, its not bad alrdy. at least i didn't disappoint myself.

after the match was suppose to be "reflection" time. it was to reflect what we've done wrong and what we can still improve in the days ahead. like i'll play anm. i did not stay on to listen cos i felt that sour feeling inside my nose already. almost couldn't hold my tears luh. i didn't want everyone to know about it cos i don't wanna let them affect my decision. its my soft hearted-ness. but to think that i wouldn't be able to play with them anm makes me feel sad. i cannt explain why too. maybe there's some bond in between us... i'll always say that bball dun mean anything to me and i dun care, now i know how much i'll miss them.

been questioning myself what the hell makes me wanna cry when i think of it. i couldn't find the right answer to fully convince myself. i've never thought tat i'll join something like bball whn i'm always the one who gets hit by bball. but whatever it is, its time for me to move on.

its time that i learn that:
there got to be an ending to everything and anything.

thanks judy and carol for watching the match today! haha. was a lil paiseh at the start cos carol and vivien cheered. like i've got a mini fan club. hahaha! don't ever do that the nxt time kayyy cos i'm shy! but i appreciate everything, really.. :))

those compliments and those comments.

2008-07-28T22:08:00.008+08:00

just saw this paragraph on someone's blog and i copied just one sentence which i think was rather meaningful...haha.

" So if you are going to keep wallowing in self-pity,
you and your self-esteem is going to shrivel up like a dried prune. "

it has been a long time since i last blogged.

well, I've came to a conclusion that i am going to quit my basketball since it is not taking me anywhere. though i still like it but i guess there isn't much i could do when i'm faced with a situation like this right? there's always another time to play...

and for now, i'm gonna swear really hard that i am not going to do any more last minute work. procrastination, so to speak. it's amusing that i'll swear on something like this because i've tried and failed several times, but i'm determine to do it once and for all. its habitual. the more i think of it, the more annoyed i am with myself. not only myself, including the people around me too. so pls, scold me if i ever do that again.

right, nights. bio spa tmr.

and as if retaining is still not enough to wake me up.
lesser laughters, lesser smiles.

2008-07-23T00:33:00.005+08:00

i'm certainly not emo-ing! hahas! just dunno wat to write.

"It's a line you have to cross to understand."

nights everyone.

to put my finger on where exactly is the root of my problems,
is a task.

2008-07-21T21:56:00.003+08:00

had mcflurry tgt with judy and oliver todae. haha! yummy. :)

just came online to print out my notes. was waiting for iris to online but she din! so i guess i shall not wait any longer. this saturdae -- parents meeting. i gona hear those naggings once more. even if my parents were to scold me, i'm sure i wun cry. definitely not in sch. cos i treasure my face quite a bit. :)

have bin thinking a lot lately.

mean wad u say.
some things aint meant to be joked.

2008-07-20T18:08:00.004+08:00

my daddy is back today!:))

boring sunday. din get to go out cos my dad is nt back from china. wonder why he always go to china. tats why i always joked tat if he go a few mre times, i'm going to change the door lock. grr.

so angry with my tuition teacher. yes, again.. shan't mention abt wad happened. spent my morning playing dslite. haha. there's this operation game tat kept me so busy ytd! made me so nervous tat i cannt sleep. cos if i din operate on the person's body properly, the person will die! hahahs! bt gt to stop eventually cos theres so much stuffs for me to complete. remedials. extra lessons. whoa. nearing the end of the yr is always that busy. i wonder why..

i just nid another 2 more hours everydae to make it 26 hours and i'll be overjoyed. :):)

2008-07-18T21:57:00.004+08:00

OH-MY.
I MADE A BIG JOKE TODAY.
CAN U IMAGINE THE EMBARRASSMENT THAT I FELT.
I'VE GOT TAT INTENSE URGE TO HUNT DOWN THE EYEBALLS.
GRRRR.

2008-07-16T21:28:00.018+08:00

TA-DAAAAAA!!!

i wnt cruising todae. hahah! dun believe? let the pictures do the talking. envy eh?! but dun "WOW" too early. continue with the pictures and ask urself, dun you find this place a lil bit familiar?! *cough* familiar right.. ITS.. TEKONG.

its super boring can. last yr i wnt and thn this yr i wnt again. almst everything is the same. i slept during the 'lecture'. hahah. to and fro the journey i slept throughout! HAHA.

i swear i wun go for tekong the nxt time. there's a weird smell over there in the bunks and the rooms! and the guys there were like depriving of girls. Gosh.

YAY. my mum finally agreed to sign tat australia trip form but she has yet to confirm whether i can go. ITS BETTER THN SHE DIN SIGN RIGHT. :)) means i've got a chance to go! =))

Like a drug that doesn't kill

2008-07-13T20:51:00.002+08:00

wnt to watch 赤壁 with my sis, cousins and aunt. nice and bloody. bt there's no endingggg. zzz. gona watch the nxt part at the end of the yr. hehes.

this wkend is horrendous. theres so much to do and yet so lil time. mayb it'll be like tat for the whole of nxt term. my black eye rings...

so many reasons why.

2008-07-12T00:22:00.003+08:00

hahah. having hot chocolate now. tasty! felt hungry at this point of time. midnight. 1230. thats the only way to prevent me frm cooking anymore maggi mee (which is also fattening), and continue dropping my "alrdy few strands" of hair.:)) i'll continue to save my hair. if nt it'll turn into some " mediterranean sea" soon.

finally a saturday. bin waiting for it to come! cos there's so much of wrk to be completed and due! wad a life right! hahahs.. its fun and frustrating sometimes.

alright. my eyes are closing alrdy. nights everyone. dream of me. HAHA. jk. :))

omg.
i just cannt believe someone
actually slept while talking!
and to think that the person claimed tat its
RUDE to do so.
HAAHA.

2008-07-10T20:59:00.003+08:00

i'll make sure tat gp and chemistry is nw my first priority. i cannt believe tat i failed my gp. its bad. and well, econs. i'll do tutorials now. hope i wun fail again in promos. excuses. its those excuses tat keep on appearing in my mind. still, i got to be responsible for my results. after getting to noe some of the retainees' results, i just felt like a loser. we're taking different combi.. yah. tats wad i'll say to console myself, whn deep inside i noe its the extra effort tat they're willing to make and sacrifice. on the other hand..

2008-07-08T20:24:00.014+08:00

i got to thnks jiajun first. cos if i dun, i'll mst likely be chopped. got to say a big sorry to her too.. cos she gt to wait at the station for so long.

...SORRY JIAJUN! I AM SINCERELY SORRY...

its tragic. got back my gp, chem and bio. hw am i going to prepare myself for the big A with such grades. hais. so down today. whn to macs with judy after school. had macflurry to cheer myself up while judy had her mac wings. 有点凄凉. two of us were sad. :(

" if you dun help urself, no one will. "

such a short sentence yet it made me think and think over again..

verge of crying...

make effort and the strength is all yours.

2008-07-06T20:36:00.003+08:00

i'm soon going to turn into a half malaysian alrdy. every now and thn, we'll visit there. and today i woke up so early to eat breakfast while my mum wnt to the market. omg. i hated it! the whole place stinks. i had to walk so carefully frm one end of the markt to the other to prevent those water frm splashing on my feet luh! wad a morning excercise i had. ewws. and all those pple there have got those funny smell too. mayb its those fishes smell la, i duno. i wonder hw am i going to cook nxt time. zzz.

argh. tues results will be out. well.. hais. scared. praying hardd.

And the thought crosses my mind

2008-07-04T21:37:00.002+08:00

goodness. this cip is mre like a wrk exp for me. the CIP isnt wad we expected. or mayb it isnt wad most of us expected. in order to avoid all those sweating jobs, me, judy and ruiqi volunteered ourselves to be in the human resource dept. wad a wrong move. you should be imagining us inside that comfortable room and doing some slacking stuffs right.

if tats wad u thought, thn you're so wrong!! we're in this tiny room. cosy? nah. nt really. its cramped up with files and server. we were assigned to all those payrolls and gt to do all the data checking. it reminds me of the times me and yiqi wrked in tropical. * missed those timesss. *

confidentiality is emphasized over and over. bahhh. its boring. on top of that, the air con is damn cold. its really going to snow there. luckily our in-charge isnt fierce. she gave us the freedom to do our stuffs. she told us if we're tired, we can go for a walk or even go to the toilet and comb our hair. HAHA. but for thrina's grp, they arent tat lucky! horrible. the in charge almst dun wana let thm off whn its alrdy 6 and even scolded thm. but still, i think dongsheng's grp is the best lah. they've got pizza!

and oh! i caught that flying kiss! HURHUR.

2008-07-03T14:10:00.003+08:00

goodbye long hair.

here comes the shorter version one. hahah. wnt to snip off my hair today. UH. sad sad and saddddd. the moment the person snipped it off, i made a noise la. at least this shows tat i've got feelings for my hair kay. so pls dun laugh at my hair now. no more curls, no more length. no more twirling of hair. now its straight. mum said its nice as in i dun look old. i think its just one of her plan to prevent me frm wasting any mre of her shampoo.

i dun look feminine anm. i look a lil innocent. i think its time for me to go back my guai look. :)

we dont have to look back now.
smiling in the afternoon. :))

2008-07-01T23:26:00.002+08:00

HAPPY BE-LATED BIRTHDAY TO JIAJUN!

my secondary sch crappy, study, music, camwhore, my listening ear, 3-8, eating bestie.

celebrating with her tmr. hurhur. someone is joining our 19 club. last yr of her so called "teenage yrs" HAHA. teenagehood is only 7 yrs, such a short span of time. but wad i assure is tat all the happy moments i had were all here! and woots. its our 7 yrs friendship and its still running strong! :))

" the road to anywhere is really a life to nowhere..."

hahha. continue reading the book of 7 habits of highly effective teens. and i found this sentence rather meaningful. cos i've really gt no direction in life. i just do things as they pop up. till now i am still figuring out.

someone loves putting dwn the phone.
ESP MINE. roar.

2008-06-30T20:31:00.004+08:00

haha. almst completed the bio p2 corrections. the mre corrections i do, the mre depressed i got and the mre anxious i wanted to noe if i got tat particular qn right. needless to say, i finally registered into my mind hw to draw beta-glucose! it'll be stamped in my brains forever i tell you. tats the stupidest mistake. hahhas..

one mre wk and i'll noe my results! so many wad ifs. and on top of my mum's nagging its worse. she luh, kip emphasising hw we retainees shld score better. without her telling i'll still noe the stakes we're holding on to this yr. i dun wana another orientation 09 outside the school! i've cried enuf and used enuf tissues last yr! but of cos, this it isnt just this yr tat we're talking about here..

i swore i've disappointed K ytd over the msn. thats the best thing i can do. in the end, we came to a conclusion tat we'll still be friends. wad else right. duh. hahha.. i'm learning nt to be affected by it. its something i cannt control. :)

someone is sick. :(

2008-06-29T21:56:00.003+08:00

my dad shld be the luckiest person on earth. cos he's got a filial daughter here... and its none other thn ME. (kay, go ahead and puke!) hahaha! really wad, i am the only one who offered to eat breakfast with him befre he goes to wrk on saturday! i even wrote a note at the dining table to remind him to wake me up!

today, we all woke up at 5am just to go malaysia and top-up his petrol and at the same time had our breakfast. its so time consuming can.. but as a filial daughter, i sacrificed my precious sleep lor. see. tats why i say my dad shld feel lucky and fortunate and loveeedddd. hahahs..

telepathy

2008-06-27T21:37:00.004+08:00

why treating me as thou i am some kids?
perhaps i just dun understand them at all. i hate it. hate it to the point tat sometime i cannt help but cry like a baby. bt the tot of dumping everything made me felt like some irresponsible person. second thoughts everywhere. biasness everywhere in my family. to let me out and i tell u the truth or restricting me and i lie my way thru? if i were to turn bad this way, i would have done it long ago. bt i've gt my own set of principles and i abide to it. maybe 19 isnt big. maybe i am forever a kid. but sheltering me all the way isnt a great idea to start with. now i am slowly discovering tat i dun have my own decisions. i cannt even make one. occasionally i'll hate myself for that but i cannt blame anyone. cos i noe eventually i am the one who's holding on to where i wana go.

Every great leap forward comes after you have made a clear decision of some kind.

2008-06-26T20:28:00.006+08:00

YAY. one more day and i am free!! maybe nt entirely but at least for a lil while!! well, i did try my best to study so tat at least i wun be guilty for enjoying the holidays nxt week. yeeps. :))

hahaha. but i doubt my mum is going to let me out everydayyyy. but i swear i am going for some excercise. the last few wks i've bin eating like nobody's business.. anddd.. i'm not a glutton - I'm an explorer of food. haha.

SOoo... i'm going to study for the last paper tmr!! (obviously i am feeling a lil sleepy now... )

byeee...

u're the one who made me smile everytime.
no matter what. just like today. *
a feeling this strong.. :))

2008-06-25T16:02:00.004+08:00

i screwed chem u i tink. thou i noe hw to do for some partsss. was sick ytd tat i din really study! slept at 12.30 and befre i know it its the nxt day already. vomited early in the mrning. i think its the toilet bowl's fault lah. hhaha.

yay! gona catch my sleep now. zzzzz

2008-06-24T22:02:00.003+08:00

todae whn my mum woke me up guess wads the first sentence i told her!
" okay.. wait till i draw finish this kayy. "
goodness. u noe wad i am dreaming off? ITS THE DRAWING OF THE BIO MITOSIS AND MEIOSIS!

econs was OK i think. bt normally whn i sae ok will turn out to be disastrous.

i think i am half sick. actually by right i shld say, i am sick. felt feverish and my throat felt like its going to explode soon. and i felt difficulty breathing even whn i walk to the kitchen. goodness. exams are going to end and i am going to fall sick! tats unfairrrr.

AWWW. super guilty.
i dun mean it.

2008-06-23T14:12:00.007+08:00

UH WELL.

sad sad ssssaaaaadddd. :((

i remembered writing very fast alrdy but yet i cannt finish tat bio paper. GRR. which means i cannot write dwn those things tat i memorised like shit a wk befre. HELL. maybe i nid to memorise thm mree till my notes gt crumpled and soggy. cos i nid to think of the pointss befre i write. but i still thought tat i am quite fast alrdyyyyy!! and of cos not to say i missed some of the points anddd... i even misread the qns. hw dumb can i be.

HAIS.

bye, chionging econs latr.
another nightmare.

giving second thoughts.
i gave everything up just for this.
I wonder where am i heading this time.

2008-06-19T21:55:00.002+08:00

i'm glad tat finally i am able to access to MY hotmail acct. its bin agessss since i can even enter and its bin maintain by poor jiajun.

felt tat sense of satisfaction. :)) i'm left with 3.5 mini bits of bio topics to touch on! wohoo. but this reminds me of econs too. shall start tmr if nt today. whn u dun like one subject, u'll dread doing it. tats wad i am experiencing nooww. until i pass my econs this time round i think i'll still be like tat. hahha. tmr will be going to ang mo kio to visit my grandma and after which i'll be going to the airport to fetch my dad! still, i got to bring my notes alongggg.

quarreled with my sis thn my mum. and i got tat slap. not surprised. i dun wana turn my blog into a venting site bt i cannt help itttttt. now i am seriously wondering issit tat pple who study a lot, tend to neglect hw pple feel. cant my sis got tat patience? why is she always just thinking of herself. she's always the LAST one in my family to noe wads actually happening and yet she wun take tat initiative to go and find out why issit tat she has bin lagging behind. why cant she sense tat? isnt she part of the family? i dun understand. well, i knew partly it was my fault to vent my anger on the cupboard and the plates and spoons la. but the cause of my anger wasn't my mum. i noe the world dun revolves around me. i accepted the fact. bt i just hate people who are ignorant. i am sure i aint expecting too much right? or was it tat we've got communication problms?

bin thinking of the qn tat judy asked me today.

" there's 3 person who wnt to check into this hotel. the cost was $30 initially. so each of thm paid $10. but the reception found tat she made a mistake. it shld be $25 only. she asked the bellboy to return $5 to them. the bellboy finds tat its hard to divide $5 among the 3 people. so he kept $2 for himself and gave $1 to each of thm. why issit that the total amount is $29 instead of $30?"

it shld be (9*3)+2=29! BUT WHY ISNT IT $30?!

Because you make me believe in myself when nobody else can help.

2008-06-19T19:47:00.011+08:00

all thnks to yiqi tat i'm doing this. haha. bt the wedding thing seems like a lil too far away frm where i am now! hello! afterall i am just merely nineteen! thou i might claim to be always sweet eighteen. haha.

#1. If your lover betrayed you, what will your reaction be?
it shldnt happen!! if it ever does... mayb i will approach him and ask? haha! it actually depends on situations lah. if its true, i'll be really angry, probably shout or ignore him entirely? i duno which one i'll react!!

#2. If you can have a dream to come true, what would it be?
tat dream to come true!

#3. What will your dream wedding to be like?
ERRM. kayy. i'll be the prettiest bride tat night and be in tat beautiful wedding gown in tat restaurant with tat gorgeous ambience tgt with the perfect man, with all my close frens and relatives! ;)

#4. Are you confused as to what lies ahead of you?
kind'of.

#5. What's your ideal lover like?
clever, caring, understanding, outgoing, tall, muscular, most imptly bigger body size thn compared to me!! haha! but still, i gt to eat my wrds sometimes.

#6. What is more blessed? Loving someone or being loved by someone?
of cos is being loved by someone! thou it might nt always be happy and nice. bt still, it takes two hands to clap and i'd prefer that! :)

#7. How long do you intend to wait for someone you really love?
well i am stubborn sometimes.. so maybe until whn i am sure tat he isnt the one? if nt i'll still wait till i grow moss. haha. or mayb whn the right one comes along.

#8. If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do?
give up. be sad of cos and i will nv ever show it out!

#9. Is there anything that has made you unhappy these days?
nah. not really.

#10. Is being tagged fun?
alright. cos i am having my so called "break". haha.

#11. How do you see yourself in 10 years time?
married plus a successful career hopefully?

#12. Who are currently the most important people to you?
family, friends and well... you noe who u are.

#13. What kind of person do you think the one who tagged you is?
fun, outgoing and kips on laughing.
oh, and she lovesss her tortoises very much which i duno whyy! hahahaa!

#14. Would you rather be rich and single or married but poor?
erm. i'll weigh it like this: Life > Money. but if i can have a choice to choose, i'll not choose any of the choices! being single and rich is lonely, dull and tats absolutely not wad i wan! and getting married but poor is tough as u got to pull everyone in the family dwn tgt to suffer with you!!

#15. What's the first thing you do every morning?
"can i sleep a lil while mre?"

#16. Would you give all in a relationship?
depends on wad "all" is about. in terms of effort, i will.

#17. If you fall in love with 2 people simultaneously, who would you pick?
impossibleeeee!! but of cos i'll pick the one i love mre.

#18. What type of friends do you like?
those who i can get along well and are understanding. at least share common interest, goals, thoughts or topics. those who aint boastful. definitely not those dull kinds. and erm.. strictly no betrayers.

#19. What type of friends do you dislike?
dull and quiet. other thn tat shld be fineeee.

#20. The person tat tagged you and the names of 8 more people you tagging.
Person tat tagged me: Tan Yi Qi!

well, mst of thm dont have a blog! so i'll get these few:

SHARON
SHERRY
JUDY

2008-06-17T21:49:00.004+08:00

ytd wnt swimming with judy. the thought of me becoming fat motivates me to go for a workout! see, everydae wad i did was just to eat dwn and eat. who wun turn fat this way!! i missed the smell of chlorine.

omg. my tuition teacher is a lil abnormal today. SCARY. i wnt to ask him abt the cartesian equation thing and i almst kena scolded. he raised his voice luh! i think its cos i ask him why cannt it be my way. haha. cannot blame me right.. i ought to noe why i have to wrk using his method and not mine. but still, he gave me a drink! said its hot outside. hahaha. tats something nt normal. cos he normally dun do tat.

anw, mybio tys cannot survive the battle. its bloody. kinda sad lah. cos i tot it'll be gd. nvm, the hope the nxt one would be better. i got to have some motivation. if not i wun moveeee.

Without a sense of urgency,dersire loses its value.

2008-06-15T01:06:00.002+08:00

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY.

and my dad is flying off to china TODAY ltr on at 5 plus am. if nt right now i might be in m'sia sleeping in the hotel! grrr. and becos of him i got to on this computer at this time and help him do all scanning stuffs. zZz. always last min.

the below msg is to WHOM IT MAY CONCERN:

i always think tat i am initiating almst all the stuffs while all u have to do is just to follow. let me tell u this, i hate it to the MAX. if it were to be evenly distributed, i'm still fine with it. and why tell me people aint a V? issit my greatest concern? i dun get it. whats the main purpose of telling me all these stuffs whn the main problm is that u are ignorant abt everything. why asking me for a second chance whn each and every chance u had u end it with tat super cheap 'sorry'? u gave me the idea tat it was all my fault. thou u claim nt to be. wadever it is, i dun wish to argue anymre.

stop calling me whn i dun pick up. get this clear into ur head. i dun wish to pick another quarrel with you. i am sick and tired of this whole thing. i really had enuf...

2008-06-13T20:40:00.004+08:00

absent minded.

forgtten to bring my ezlink card out todae. gotten a scolding early in the mrning. got used to it alrdy luh! got to sch at 8 plus for consultation. surprisingly uh!? hahaha. annabel is no longer a tardy queen. hehes. anw, almst completed bio tys. big achievement! this is the reason why i stayed up to 2am plus. this time, the consultation is productive.

after tat wnt studying at jurong west lib. mre of eating i guess. its me, judy and my sis. thn after tat i slept for ONLY 20mins lor. judy tried to sabo me by complaining to ms ng.

alright. got to go and study a lil and i'll say hi to u in my dreams.

i admitted tat i've lost. and i gave up.
yes, entirely on you.

Just listen to the rhythm of my heart. :))

2008-06-11T21:45:00.004+08:00

to some pple who duno the real story behind it, u wouldnt understand wad exactly am i writing. to the minority who knew, u shld noe wad exactly happened.

well, i did something wrong again - by calling him. but i was on a task tat my colleague gave me.

at first i tot its ok, its gone be alrgiht. but it was the biggest mistake in my life.

i totally regretted those times. bt i cannt change it anm. i duno hw i got thru it. its nt tat i dun enjoy those two yrs but i made the wrong move right frm the start. those happy, sad, emo, crying, laughing times i had bin thru it all. u have seen it all. those comforting wrds i still remembered it clearly. bt other thn those evrything is lost.

it wasnt really very pleasant with those colorful vulgarities. u've bin scolding those languages all along. bt for the first time, u used it on me. on a girl. isnt all these actions tell me someting abt u? i shldnt have called u in the first place. if it werent for him, i wouldnt have called u. i did it cos i really dun wana repeat it all over again. its scary with her calling. at tat point of time u wouldnt have imagine hw terrified i got. my hands trembled bt no one noes. even if they noe, they would nv knew wads it was to be like. who will ever understood those feelings and gone thru it?

i'm trying hard nt to show it. those emotions tat i have right now and everytime i thought of it.

no one noes.

but... wads the use of regetting.. whn everything isnt going to change just because u regretted....

And I feel just like I’m living someone else’s life
I'm not happy when I try to fake it.
probably i tried to trick u, trick everyone else.
deep within, i knew it wasnt me.

your warmth is in my heart.

2008-06-09T11:59:00.006+08:00

started packing my stuffs. thou its neat alrdy lah. bt i am repacking it jus for the exams. econs is like sooo freakin thick. i duno hw am i going to study. mayb a lil bit everyday i'll be able to finish it.

alright gtg. jus on my com to print one mre set of econs tat i've completely forgotten to print ytd. grrr. cos the portal is veryyyyy messy with all those files. its nt organised at all!

lil by lil,
one walks far.

2008-06-08T11:53:00.004+08:00

sometimes sorry dun sound really sorry after a while if u kip saying it. esp whn u dun mean it and u repeat the mistakes over and over again. it became pointless or rather i shld sae, useless. why bother about another chance whn u just treat that word sorry like any other word? duno why the hell am i repeating this over and over again.

nvm, just some random thoughts that came across my mind which i think everyone shld ponder upon.

was so angry with my tuition teacher ytd. i came in late. fine, its my fault. ( but normally i dun give a damn cos he always starts the lesson late too.) but ytd he just let me sit dwn there like some statue and ignore me while he taught the hwachong student. wth?! she came in later thn me! so in the end i was so pissed tat i told him i wanted another lesson nxt wk. idiot. i got loads qns tat i aint sure and i duno! i just got to remind myself tat i cant afford to screw my mye up. thou sometimes for duno wad funny reasons i jus feel like giving up. grrrr. and now i got to waste another day again nxt wed. which means no training for me too. :)

training. talking abt it, last training i think i nearly died luh! breathing difficulty!! gosh. magnus was so scared tat i'll train halfway and collapse. HAHA. hopefully its jus a symptom of lack of exercise.

*pray*

In Infinitum

2008-06-04T21:40:00.004+08:00

oh wells. studied a lil bio.

and oh, her hse was just wonderful. with beautiful sceneries and mst imptly FOOD. we were nv once hungry while we were there. that new invention of maggi mee was nice too! nv tasted tat befre! >.< tmr i just another day for me.

anw, watched sex and the city. althou the actresses were kinda old but the movie tells us otherwise. i couldnt believe that i actually saw something i that i din expect to see! hahas! well well. its really funny thou! omg. i cannt stop laughing even after the movie ended. like wad judy quoted frm the movie " love is being able to lie naked, covered with sushi, waiting for your lover to come home". HAHA. gross i noe.

In three words I can sum up what I learnt in life: It-goes-on...

2008-06-03T22:26:00.003+08:00

finished wadever i'm supposed to do todae. :)

today is just another bad day. thnks to oliver's call. cheered me up a lil. or i shld sae, chilled me dwn a lil. i hated having to wait. bt true, mayb there's jus something tat i'm nt aware of that is happening there. i just thought of myself. shld just chill dwn a lil. i guess my level of tolerance isnt that high after all. but it has bin improving.

Rroarrrrr.

anw, i got to control myself lah. i think i'm getting quite hot tempered. so if anyone spot me raising my voice at someone, pls try to remind me kaay. obviously i've bin raising my voice at my sis whn i'm super frustrated talking to her after sometime cos i jus think tat she doesnt get it!

communication break dwn maybe.

2008-06-02T01:06:00.013+08:00

pictures are all in RANDOM ARRANGEMENT.

i'm letting the pictures do all the talking here. or maybe "writing" is a better word.

anw the concert was fun!

cya, shall blog mre whn i feel like blogging. hehes. too lazy. and oso look at the time now! its 1.25am.

byes.

2008-05-29T20:00:00.004+08:00

ytd wnt to IMM with carol and sherry. haha. had sinful macs for lunch. we din do any wrk cos... i forgt to bring tat stupid pencilcase. grrrr. still, we had funnn at daiso. haha! we were those crazy bunch of girls there who kept taking photos and poses. well well, bt its fun. we started off feeling quite energetic. bt as we shop and shop.. we became so tired.

din do much of stuffs today.

wnt to je lib at 1130. whoo. i'm super awake cos i sleep till 10. was discussing about some funny stuffs with carol and we bth laughed and giggled. strictly girls' talk. haha. but in the end luckily i did rush finish my gp in time. wnt back to sch to hand in the tutorials. wheww. luckily tat security guard was kind enuf to let us in for 5 mins. cos i tot i wun be able to even enter the sch whn i'm clad in slippers tgt with my nail polish.

i hated the feeling of having to wear a mask and trying to pretend. it sucks. bt todae i just turned out to be.

I'm starting to learn more and more about responsibility.
I realize everything I do is affecting the people around me.
So I want to take this time out and apologize for things I have done.
And things that have not occurred yet.
And the things they don't want to take responsibility for.

2008-05-27T21:11:00.019+08:00

the pics are out!

me and jiajun! on our way home.

with hf's specs. haha.

while they are shopping.

i jus entertained myself!

wif jiajun!

outside this unknown restaurant.

sharon.

me and jiajun!

posing outside the museum.

ghostly figure.

at billy bombers.

hf, jiajun and me.

jiajun!

me and sharon! haha.

my only same birthday same class sec classmates!

SLURRPS.

bloated now. jus drank arnd 5-6 cups of tea, desperate to be slim. zZz. thou i duno if it'll work. hopefully yes.

anw, training todae. tmr training again and fri. its a chore for me to go all the way back to sch frm my hse! and considering tat i missed 3 buses todae and was late for lectures. its the first time i kena lah. i nv tot that bus number 172 is so crowded in the mrning at 7.15! actually i think there is still space in the bus lor. jus tat those pple dun wana move in. cos about 5 pple alighted the bus but still no one can board the bus.

YAY. my dad is coming back today! means more chocs!

on the other hand, means i cannt go out as often alrdy. Booo.

2008-05-26T22:57:00.002+08:00

whee! the feeling of no sch is super shiok! this feeling is so unfamiliar to me now. nvm, i'll learn to adapt pretty sooon! hehes.

pms-ing todae again. got so irritated easily. i hate it lah. isnt my normal self. i should kip my cool! haha. wnt to lib todae with carol. gota chiong finish all those holidae assignments befre we can start revising! and i did miracle todae! cos i wnt to the lib early to queue! i'm gona quit being tardy. :)

and there's these 2 stupid malay pri sch kids. they came over to the lib to use the com. to phrase it nicely, its "using" the com. bt in fact, they were playing games there. they played wad games i aint interested. but wad made me super angry is that they talk so loudly whn they are putting on the earphones. idiot.

so i wnt on my SHHHHh-ing spree. haha. it might sound bimbotic or wad la. bt i dun care. who ask thm to irritate me todae esp while i'm doing tat damn maths assignmnt. whn i found out tat my SHhh-ing doesnt wrk, i decided to approach thm, and i did befre i wnt to have my lunch. after i came back frm my lunch break, they still talked like the whole lib is his dad's. wth. so i kept on staring at thm. i think i'm rather fierce lah. cos one of the boy jus looked and me and dun dare to turn back at me. luckily they wnt off early. if nt i'm really getting the librarian over. HURHUR.

Pushing through the darkness still another mile...

2008-05-26T00:44:00.002+08:00

a new blog skin, a fresh start, without him.

i'm going to get rid of him once and for all. out of my life and out of my mind. no thoughts, not even a friend. i noe its harsh. bt i think whn he can do something like this, why cant i. and esp i dun wana create any mre stupid misunderstandings betwn us. its mre like a emotional blackmail.

i've gotten over it, gotten over the sadness tat i tot i've bin causing you. With this chance I've missed, i've never regretted.

lets move on to a new chapter of my life.

my long awaited holidaes!! =))

2008-05-23T22:08:00.005+08:00

holidays are finally here.
still, i can only catch up a lil in terms of sleep.
oh well. i just need a break!

sometimes, i felt that i've gone a lil crazy.
i've got so dependent without me even realising it.
begin to doubt my state of mind.

I may perplex but Im not blind.

sweaty sprts meet.

2008-05-21T20:13:00.002+08:00

was pretty tired todae. lib has turn out to be a hiding place for me. or i shld sae a sleeping place where me, carol and judy will hide during out breaks. if we are tired, we'll sleep. if we're nt, we'll enjoy the aircon and do our homewrks.

the gate is closed todae. i'm like hell wana go out of the sch to escape the sports day. wanted to climb the fence but was afraid tat i'll be caught and mayb would get injured like carol. cos i've nv done that befre. its so HOT there at the grandstand!! and cos everyone is sweating profuselyyy, the atmosphere stinks! urgh.

and i had enuf of that person faking him. i dun understand wad the hell is wrong with that asshole that he/she has to do such a thing like that.

firstly, its super childish. secondly it'll make the person look like an idiot here in this blog. thirdly, if i ever find out who that person is and esp whn the person is a fren to me, i'll severe any ties with tat person. cos i dun have such a friend and i dun nid one cos it'll jus downgrade myself on having such a fren. forthly, if the person isnt my fren, i can always change my blog.
cos this blog is nth to me now esp whn i cannt blog wad i wanted to blog.
and the list goes on...

thats whn i knew...

MADE OF HONOR

2008-05-20T23:14:00.005+08:00

watched "Made of Honor" on saturday. haha!

wnt to to douby ghaut ytd to celebrate hf birthdae. its like almst a few mths i din get to see thm alrdy la! had billy bombers. its super big plate cann! i'm going to turn into a pig soon if i continue my diet like this. needless to sae, i created a joke at bomber's lah. argh. i'll never forgt that milkshake scene!! so paiseh luh. i think i am going to disappear frm douby ghaut for mayb abt a mth so that no one will recognise me! HAHA. obviously i can do it since i cant go out!

esp whnnn.. holidaes are coming! ::) YAY. anw, hope hf likes the present!! shall post the pics up whn sharon uploaded it to us.

i'm starting to find that having a blog is sometimes really useless cos i cannt blog wad i wana blog about. i felt so restraineeddd.

dark chocs! <3

it's burning away every bad memory.

i can see it.

2008-05-13T20:31:00.004+08:00

i noe its hard to digest.
u are sad and so am i.
everyone is sad today.
wad a bad day.

sometimes.. i wonder if i had crossed over the line.
i knew i was being cold, even probably inhuman.
i was that monster who kill hearts.
other pple would have wanted it and yet i threw it all out.
u noe hw is the feeling like.
it is so helpless.
tat helpless that it makes me feel like crying my heart out.
it isnt meant to turn out this way
i swear tat i nv tot it'll turned out tat way.

but i cannt reach tat win win situation.
i dunno wad to sae, i duno wad to do.
i see the pain that you have to feel.
but u shld consider myself too.

all i want is you to know, u to understand.
as long as i din hurt u much, i've done my part.

take my worries out of sight.

" what happens in Vegas"

2008-05-10T23:17:00.007+08:00

wnt lib todae. was rather surprised tat he wnt earlier thn me! i'm tardy.

i think i still cannt figure out my econs. made me feel so stupid thou i noe i'm nt. those funny graphs jus couldnt get into my head. and i cannt explain tat damn graph for goodness sake. worse is tat i havent bin listening to the lectures and the lecturer wnt super fast. i''l die a quick death on fridae's econs test.

and i wnt to watched " what happens in Vegas". nice and sweet show! the actresses are pretty and the actor is handsome. haha! :))

i'm pretty tired of some things and i dun wish to repeat. it got me tired over time. over everything and i hated myself for my soft heartedness.

There are moments when I don't know if it's real
If you listen to these words
what I say are true.

not even there yet.

2008-05-08T23:24:00.004+08:00

tat biology test isnt really good. i said tat cos i din really study befre hand. its so hard to be consistent la. think there wun be an A this time round. hopefully nxt test i'll be better? it sucked to see lousy results. i dun feel good and it spoils my day. i'm starting to aim high. hopefully i wun get disappointed cos i'll cry if i tried my best and i get no results.

felt a lil sick. mayb cos lack of sleep or wad. dun even have tat appetite to eat tat pear tat my mum gimme. its super big. stupid fruit.

econs todae suck. kip kena scolded. haha. my fault oso la. cos i talked and played a lil. bt thn she's jus weird. bt still, i got to study for my econs test. mayb thn i wun fail tat badly. i jus dun have tat flair in econs. totally cannt make it. haha!

tmr is gona be my happy day. every fridae is my happy day! :))

gona tuck in. headache. nights.

That's what saves me

infuriated.

2008-05-05T20:52:00.006+08:00

i'm sorry if i sound as if i'm going to blast this computer off tonight. cos indeed i feel like doing it right now at this very moment.

i dun understand why why and why the hell my sis always gets away with all the mischief tat she did. its making me freakin' angry. and to make things worse, my dad is always helping her without fail! nv once he'll lift up tat damn cane to hit her. wadever. i shall jus restrict myself and nt to sae tat F wrd thou i wanted to sae it right here.

its ridiculous la. i on this com and thn i jus walked away frm the com for a while and she used it without my permission. FINE. i dun care. so long as she returns it to me the moment i nid it. but she HANGED IT. she hanged tat damn bloody computer!!! i've told her a thousand times over and over again not to use the microsoft wrd without me around but she is stubborn enuf not to listen. oh well. so i shouted.

and my dad showed his FATHERLY LOVE to her by shielding wadever i blast her. it so obvious that she is at fault and nth can save her! my dad jus raised his voice at me lah. idiot. he even said my sis DID ask for the permission whn i'm super sure tat she din! see? tats wad i call fatherly love. just becos she is small, tiny or puny u think i dun dare to scold her ah?! do i look as if i give a damn abt it? since whn did she told me tat she is using it? wana help her get away from my scoldings using this stupid method arh!

i'm nt trying to be a saddist asking my dad to beat up my sis till she begs for help. i jus wana him to see who is in the right and who is in the wrong. and nt jus merely being bias!! will he lose tat face of his jus to admit tat my sis is at fault?! i jus dun understand. he's jus being so protective of her and pamper her like as if she is the god. wadever she did, its my fault.

mayb i'm jus being childish. mayb i'm jus having pms, thou mst likely.but wad i noe is that i'm nt in the right mind now. i haven been flaring up my temper like this for quite a long time.

what's making me additionally pissed off is someone who is sms-ing me frm mrning all the way till now. with me not replying those smses, isnt it obvious enuf tat i'm nt in the mood to reply? isnt it obvious tat i'm tolerating? and yet the smses still continue to come. jus dun make it a point tat i've got to call back and scold you. it isnt really nice. there's a limit to where my patience and tolerance can go and u better get this clear.

i hate to sae it. bt this is a blog. i felt restricted to really voice my anger here whn anyone is able to read it.

lingering smell.
i love it.
:)

my sundae

2008-05-04T20:46:00.003+08:00

YAY. i'm so happy with myself. managed to stay put at my seat in the library for almst 10hours!! wohoo! iincluding lunch time la. at least i completed things tat took the mst time out of me. so i'm now left with bio test and.. GP. -.-

hate mondaes. idiot. got tat damn econs. its cos of econs tat we haf to go for 5 hours of lessons at one go la. urgh. gona go sleepy in class again i think. well, its becoming a habit!! haha.

alright got to sleep. nights everyone. :)

:)

2008-05-01T20:11:00.002+08:00

wnt to m'sia early in the mrning. got to wake up at 5am. jus to had our breakfast!! interesting ah. hahas.. needless to sae, i slept in the car mst of the time. its the only way to get mre sleep!! :)

felt so relax without trainings. i noe i shld maximise the time now. tats why i've bin catching up with my sleep and tutorials at the same time. thou i wasnt really lagging tat much, bt i shldnt be ignoring it too. and btw, the chem test suuck.

anw, got to do my GP reflections. i think sometimes GP hmewk is mre thn any other subjects tat we are taking. zZz. i can still remember last yr whn i dun even remember doing a piece of GP hmewk. but now it's nt the case anymre. :((

Diana Ross - whn u tell me tat u love me

-.O

2008-04-28T21:35:00.004+08:00

wad a bad monday. i just felt tat things aint going my way i tot it shld be.
i find tat i'm lagging.
the feeling of procrastination is back again.
i swore a thousand times this yr tat i'm going to change - change for the better.
but why issit tat everytime i dun have the will to hang on?
esp whn i needed some wrds of encouragement, i had none.
its getting me tired of everything.
esp whn one is dwn on luck, everything around her changes.

I’m building castles in the sand...

etiquette is wad i lack.

2008-04-21T21:59:00.004+08:00

i've got a great sense of achievement today! cos we've got continuous lessons all the way and i din sleep in any lessons. i've tried nt to let someone disappointed becos of my actions. cos disappointment isnt something that i wana pple to feel abt me.

anw i'm super happy that we're allowed to do gym during pe. cos mr ang kindly allowed us to choose between 9 rounds or gym. hehes. of cos is gym la. 9 rounds shall leave it to nxt mondae. the reason is becos i got competition on mondae and i dun nid to run! haha. its a win-win situation. :)

was reading tis book that ms ng bought.
" The 7 Habits Of Highly Effective Teens."
whoa. suddenly i find that i'm one of the defective teens that the book is referring to. i need to improve mre on myself. ytd i tot of something quite random.

what is the course that you wana learn if you've got the chance?

my answer is: ETIQUETTE course.

there shld be a line drawn between us.

my expedition!

2008-04-20T11:35:00.028+08:00

thnks sharon for your card! yeah. i'll nv lose contact with you guys luh. cos you all are the ones whom i'm really close with since sec! right, i noe i'm always the one who cannt go out. hopefully i'll get things right and plead my mum ok! :) P.S: i almst cannt read ur handwriting!

overslept on saturdae. i was really so tired the previous night luh. my mum kept on nudging me but i jus wun get out of my comfortable bad. nt until i saw the time. sharon has to wait for quite a long time! sorry. anw, it was a short meeting with her. cos we jus wnt to macs and had our breakfast and of cos had some gals talk. after tat she gota meet her supposedly "friend" at cityhall. so we followed her there. cos me and jiajun had no where to go.

but still, it was a lovely saturdae to start off with. i jus loved the times whn we can go out tgt without any time constraints. well, it happened! me and jiajun was alrdy tired of walking in shopping centres tat in the end we wnt out of the mall to stroll outside. explored the places and tried to get ourselves lost. thou it was hot and we perspired, we had lots of fun.. and its worth it! yeps, we're crazy. slippers can bring us to anywhere we wan, cos we dun care if we look sloppy or wad. slippers are the best!

miraculously we strolled pass this raffles hotel. dun ask me where is it. cos.. i duno hw to go if you ask me to go for the second time. still, its a nice place to start off with~!!

next, we "miraculously" stop at: The Civilian War Memorial..
and jiajun was afraid of the "ghost" in there.
i saw none. * choy *

and guess wad. a japanese uncle was there and he offered to help us take a photo.. sweet!
well, dun think too much. cos he's an uncle. nt handsome, just nice. =D

and this place looks creepy actually.

i prayed hard tat i din "jao geng" in this pic.

our journey continues..

nv "jao geng"!

crazy. trying to act as thou i own this place. DUH.

jiajun's pose is so.. UN-natural.

walking sloppily. it's super hot ok.

let me introduce you to this place..

3rd stop.. The Supreme Court

can barely open my eyes.

finally i looked TINY.

model number one. hehes.

okay, i looked sweet here. haha.

my backview sucks. bt i think my front view iss... better? :x

thats a fake smile!
actually i'm super afraid that i'll drop dwn.
see, i dun even dare to sit near to the "lamp"..

she's one dare soul. its she who asked me to go up.

By then, we were tired, perspiring, thirsty so we decided to end the trip for some air-conditioned place.. and we had..

DONUTS @ raffles city!!

a new donut stall located at raffles city shopping centre. according to our taste buds, we felt that donut factory still tastes better. thou this J.CO provides better ambience and service. =P

thats hw i look befre we indulge in these.
you shld see hw i look after we finished up those.

i think its damn fattening to have 5 donuts dwn our stomach. we shared the 5. actually we bought 4. but thn i duno why whn we bought a drink, they give us another one. so total 5. after finishing up the 5 donuts, we almst wanted to vomit.

thn after tat is my tuition time lor. sian. actually i treasure every outing very much. cos i'm unlike the others whereby i can go out whenever i like! and esp with jiajun, sharon and hf. its sad tat hf din come on sat. hope to see her soon. hahas!

back to the routine sch daes on mondae. anw, i duno if i had this flair in games. cos i kept on losing tat "PATAPON". damn. jus wonder hw jiajun can manage without dying so often.

surely i aint a game idiot!!?! (yes u are one!- jj)

NOTE: SOMEHW I THINK JIAJUN NV UPLOAD HER PICS ENTIRELY!
cos.. some were missing!!! and all were her unglamorous pics. argh!

its all that i cherish.

a perfect lesson.

2008-04-14T22:41:00.003+08:00

super down todae.
we tot we'd win.
for the first time, i saw determination.
determination to beat thm flat.
initially we did.
bt nt towards the end.
was it cos we were really lousy
or was it cos we had bad luck todae.
its super demoralising.
its super sad.
surely we all felt at least a tinge of sadness.
to think of the time and effort we put in...
anw, i noe we shld look forward. =]

its the tears, sweat, time.

freaking out

2008-04-12T01:00:00.002+08:00

i got to thnk two person todae. haha. met up with them at lot 1 macs. duno if i'm suppose to mention their name or nt, but i noe u'll noe who you are.

haha. think tmr i really nid to go and visit a doctor! duno why jus recently i got this stupid chest pain symtom. and its making me freak out.

anw, sleeping time. so ciaos.

on tat special day...

2008-04-10T22:35:00.003+08:00

anw, thnks to everyone:

serene
oliver
justina
lewis
lilian
alan
lynette
peishan
liz
sihui
shuhui
fengling
carol
hsiufen
sharon
jiajun
huiyu
kim
yiqi baobei
charms
xiaoting
zhengjie
mum
jason
alicia
wangbei
weiliang
shiqi
zhimin
07s03 ( that bear/ dog is really funny! but i like it! hahas!! =D)
08s03

and those whom i may have missed out.

well, ytd is a happy day for me. haha. one yr older. bt nvm, in my mind i'll be forever 18. hate the fact tat the number is increasing each yr. zZz. mst imptly, gotta thnk ms ng for everything. she rocks! :D

guess wad. its so sad tat i cannt get the jersey number that i want. nine is suppose to be my favourite number bt i ended up with fourteen. cos i only left 13, 14, 15 to choose. so i got to love fourteen even thou tat isnt my priority. fourteen is fine with me thou. it wasnt an issue. its fate. :D

:)

2008-04-06T09:35:00.002+08:00

last thursdae was the lousiest day ever! you noe, like wad pple always say "the dae whn everything goes wrong". urgh.

first i din managed to complete tat gp wrk. cos the previous night i was like so tired and half conscious alrdy. thn in the end got to stay in sch a lil later to finish up. its the first ever time i treat gp hmewrk with respect and nt ignorance ok! its something tat i think i nid to be happy about! =]

right after tat, i met up with alan. well, was late la. expected. we din met up for long. cos my mum called me half way and asked where am i. omg la. i said i'm at the sch library and tats a big fat lie! guess wad. she told me to come out and she wana fetch me home!! luckily i got the brains to sae i'm still doing my stuffs and will be finishing 45 mins latr. immediately after tat i rushed back la.

tats a heart excercise for me. whew. its this kinda things tat made me different from others. haha!

anw, someone wans me to thnk him right here in my blog. haha! no la. kidding. bt in any case i think i shld. tats respect right! thnks alan for his present! :)

recently my mum nagged at me again. like hw prices have sored and hw i mus wrk hard and blah blah. zZz. wadever. okay lah. gtg and study for my bio! cos promise is a promise right. urgh.

You don't know how many times I've sung this song.

saturdae boredom.

2008-03-29T13:44:00.002+08:00

sherry and carol they all must have gone for that "jiao zi" thing at chinatown. and i cannt go. they'll better be the ones who "ta bao" some back!!

ytd wnt running for tat 7km. LUCKILY it rained. i'm so proud of the rain. in the end we ran 3.5km. hah. but i'm still very happy cos i nv stop! its a big big encouragement for me ok. despite tat i still hate tat drenched feeling. sucked la. made me shiver all over and... my scalp with tat few pathetic strands of hair became mre visible. i now declare i'm going bald. aging effect.

got something frm oliver. well well. i really was jus kidding in tat sms cos i tot i'm older! i can swear a thousand times. so its kinda really ps whn i got it frm yubin. anw, thnks. =D

yummy chocs. :)

2008-03-27T20:29:00.003+08:00

i wana get my stupid fringe back! aww. it suck la. i looked so funny and nerdy in tat. anw, i got to thnk lewis for his chocs. haha. dine xpect that he'll gimme that fast! still, its yummy. love it loads. =D
finally its fridae tmr. whew. the mst relaxing day other thn wed! haha. but tat'll meant 7km tmr. SIAN. :)

i'm relieved. touched. glad. loved.
i nvr thought i'm tat impt to you. :]

my stupid p.m.s.

2008-03-26T21:43:00.003+08:00

was really having PMS todae. duno why i'm so pissed at everything and anything. even training i was actually angry and irritated.

cos i just dun understand wad is the use of defending whn the person is running without a ball. and tat issue on jersey sucks. we all came to a " no conclusion". a big sorry to anyone whom they tot i'm emo or wadever. jus wasnt in a very wonderful mood. played against the china pple on the exchange programme. 4-20. but somehw i dun feel happy about winning.

and oh. now cos of bball i got to run about 20km every wk till mid april. anyone, jus anyone pls save me. ask me to do anything but nt running. i hate running for some reasons. its so uncomfortable lor. zZz. hais.

i suppose tmr will be a better day for me. time to tuck in. ciaos.

its just like this.

2008-03-23T20:23:00.003+08:00

first of all, HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALAN. haha. i nearly forgotten. whew.

whoa. finally had the chance to blog againn! haha. well, its cos i nv wnt to yande's hse for the steamboat luh. hw unlucky. its so rare that i'm allowed to go and thn something happened that cuase me to stay at hme to look after my sis now. yawns.

anw, nth to blog oso. i oso duno wad to blog. life is mundane lor. lectures, tutorials and hme. tats the way i'm leading my life now. haha. but thn of all the subjects i think i've seriously neglected chemistry. hais.

and omg. my gp teacher is freaking me out. she looks sweet and at the same time she is so fierce!! i swear i wun sleep in her class lor. she would suddenly call your name if she ever finds that you are day dreaming or half conscious! so jus imagine wad will happen if you ever.. sleep. =x

alright, shall blog mre whn something happens. so now, cya. :)

o8so3 outing.

2008-03-11T21:58:00.003+08:00

wnt for the so called class outing todae at woodlands. haha. well, the reason i said that is cos not everyone wnt la. only the 12 pple. had Soeul Garden for lunch. bt thn i duno why i ate a lil only.

after that wnt arcade. zZzz. after so many years i nv wnt arcade alrdy. suddenly its like returning back to childhood. haha, ok, as if i'm very old. but its so funny to see thm play the dance thing la. or shld i call it the dance machine. normally is one person play but in the end each of us took one arrow and play. needless to say, it ended up a failure. hahas.

but after the arcade thing we got bored and decided to go elsewhere but nowhere. judy suggested that we go to her hse but in the end cannt. thn we just stone there and think of a place FOR A VERY LONG TIME. haha. nxt time we shld jus have a timetable and plan it befre we had a class outing. eventually we wnt hme.

ms ng's car is nice luh. better thn my dad's toyota. haha. mayb it is cos its a female car thats why. she fetched me all the way to changi airport luh! so nice! haha. actually she is suppose to go hme and jus "shun bian" drop me off at bedok stn. bt in the end she told me she duno where is the stn. scare the hell out of me la. i tot she's going to be lost anytime and anywhere. scary. she jus rely on the road signs to get to the place whre she wana go lor. i think if u ask her to go to other places, she might jus get lost.

luckily i got to the changi airport in one whole piece. haha!! kidding!! but still thankful to her for sending me all the way there. it wasnt a long journey since i was crapping half of the time. haha.

and oh. my dad is going to china this saturdae!! haha. =]

study!

2008-03-10T22:19:00.003+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KOHKIAT! =D

todae is a study day for me! hahas.

anw, no mood to blog. gona go watch tv. haha.

actually i wish you hadnt did it. thats the truth.
i jus dun wana be labelled as wad i thought i'd be labelled as.
i'm hiding everything underneath, you'll nv noe.

:(

2008-03-09T22:04:00.002+08:00

disappointment. sorry ms shan. i've disappointed you.

din expected it thou. bt in the end i got it. in exchange for my laziness.

its really scary.

my priority

2008-03-04T20:52:00.005+08:00

BOO. sorry tat i havent bin bloggin. din wana on my com cos i noe i sure got tat stupid habit of not doing my die-die-got-to-finish hmewrks and revisions. computer can rot me. A level results going to be out on fridae. wonder hw much will i gt for chinese. zZz. super no confidence.

i've got a news. duno if its considered a good one or a bad one. bt the bball girls has decided that they are going to join in the national tournament. this means that we'll have a jersey! hw cool is that! i've never imagined myself to own one! haha. thou everyone wans to be inside the 12, i guess winning or losing isnt our main priority anymre. something else is mre impt thn jus winning.

todae we did something really bad but thn.. I LIKE IT. i'll summarize everything up.

as you noe, we always sat on the table at the back of the canteen below the tv. but todae we gave up our seats and wnt for the bio lecture. shall not comment anything abt that lecture. and thn whn we came back to our seats, its occupied. !@#$%#%

its occupied by one gal and two guys. but pls lor, tats our table la. haha. i noe tat its kinda "ba dao" to actually chop seats like that. so i wnt all the way to their table and jus place my bag there. followed by judy and carol's. whn i put my bag there, tt gal was alrdy staring at me like kinda shock lah! haha. cos i think she nv expected tat we'll do something like tat. worse part is that i still sat there. thn the gal jus gimme tat kind of " what the hell happened?!" look.

the funniest part is whn sherry actually banged her bag on top of the table in the middle of their lunch and conversations luh! omg. i din get to see their expressions cos my back is facing thm. bt i guess its going to so funny. hahahs! and its so obvious that they are those freshies cos by the look of their shocking look! i laughed like mad la.

ok it bad to disturb pple like tat but once a while doing these kind of thing is really amusing right! and it brightens up my day! =D mind you, i'm not a saddist.

tmr is the wad public speaking programme. i've always hated all these. wasting time. and i remembered choosing P.S as my last choice and i duno why i ended up in this. its so irritating. i wonder hw pple got into their first choice such as events management if i were to be in my LAST choice for no particular reason. anyone just tell tell me hw they place pple according to their choices!

sometimes i wanted to write something out here
whn i realised that i cannt.
its restricted alrdy, unlike last time.
again. i hate it whn i kip thinking of the past.
!@#Z%^^*&&^@

désolé

2008-02-28T22:46:00.005+08:00

to speak the truth, i think i'm wasting my time away in sch. repeating lectures and so on. zZz. still i got to chiong la. cos i wun wana let those pple who supported me get disappointed the second time. i've promised my dad tat this yr i'll be good and i mean it.

todae wnt to NTU for dinner. kinda lame but thn considering tat i can see handsome guys, its worth it. haha. whoa. i saw quite a few mixed blood guys. hahas.

trainings ended. cool. super happy of cos. cos i've got mre time for everything, be it studies or playing or even going out.

맛있은 사랑

2008-02-24T20:44:00.006+08:00

orientation is such a... anw, i din attend mst of it. i really dun wana go. its the first time in my life tat i'm dreading to go to a "must-go" event. damn my foolish pride.

omg. i think i spread mst of my germs to my family. cos my mum, dad, sis were all sick now. haha. wnt gyming on sundae. rare. was so hungry la. cos we wnt in the mrning at cos its on a sundae, i've got nothing on the kitchen table. and i jus wnt out without filling up my stomach.

sorry isnt the word to be used every now and thn. cos i can really feel that i'm getting sick of it alrdy. too much dose of it isnt healthy. it made me feel that the sincerity isnt there anymre. just like how cheap tat word " sorry" is to me now. sometimes i really felt no tinge of sorry-ness in you. mayb cos you've said it too often that probably i'm numb? and the worse part is that you dun learn. wadever, i'm used to it..

I CAN BE A HAIRDRESSER! haha. i finally found my future ambition-to-be. all thnks to tritton tat i found tat mayb i might have this talent. omg. is so funny. it all started whn todae YAW (is i havent spelled it wrongly) caught him with his over-grown hair. and whn he wnt back to "class", we joked abt helping him cut his hair. and miraculously, HE ALLOWED. and so me, ms ng, judy and iris started our hair-cutting career. haha. actually my cutting skills isnt tat bad ok. its good lor. i can even cut LAYERED! ms ng can even cut side-burns! mayb she can think of quitting her job and be a hairdresser. too bad we din take pictures during the process.

todae is a happy day for me except tat i really ps carol todae. damn guilty. anw, pizza hut todae! gonna really turn fat. but i really had a great laugh todae. going hme is the scariest part. cos i'm so afraid tat my dad would see me in hme clothes. whew. lucky he din come back befre me. if nt i'm dead.

i'm really addicted. its unbearable. i really got tat urge to review my past post. one yr, two yrs back. even a few mths back. but i jus felt tat slightly tinge of fear. why cant i jus leave everything alone and be happy of wad i've got now...sometimes even a familiar smell can mke me daze and think for a while. that madness isnt it?

tmr against yjc. fridae gona meet up wif my secondary sch mates. its been a yr or so that we havent been meeting up. really miss everyone of them. we were once so happy in jwss thou sometimes we might have some disagreements. but isnt these quarrels that bond us tgt? hw sad la. but i cannt go. i've got dinner. actually it depends on the cross country timing. if its early thn i can go. if nt i think i can only see thm in march. i'm always the one.

나는 진짜로 없다 그 그럼에도 불구하고 나는 누군가에 그것을 밖으로 보여줄 수 없다. 어쩌면 나는 시작하면 조차 안된다.